Sextortion and online blackmail

Sextortion is when someone threatens to share sexual images or videos of you unless you pay them, send more images or do something else they want. It often starts with a friendly message from someone who seems to be an attractive young woman or girl. The chat quickly turns sexual, you are persuaded to send a picture or go on a video call, and then the threats begin.

If this is happening to you, you are not alone, and it is not your fault. You are the victim of a crime, and there are clear steps you can take right now.

How sextortion works

The person behind it may use a fake profile, stolen photos or a recording made to look like a live video call. Some are criminals who target many people at once, and they can be very convincing.

Common signs include:

• a stranger who adds you, flirts fast and pushes you to move to another app
• pressure to send intimate photos or to join a video call
• a sudden switch to threats after you send something, often with a short deadline
• screenshots of your friends or followers, to show who they say they will send it to
• demands for money, gift cards, airtime, cryptocurrency or more images

They may also claim to have images they don't have, or use fake or edited ones. Either way, the steps below still apply.

What to do right now

1. Do not pay. Paying does not guarantee they will delete anything, and it often leads to bigger demands. Don't send more images either.
2. Stop all contact. Don't argue, plead or bargain with them. You can simply stop replying.
3. Don't delete the evidence. Screenshot it. Take screenshots of the messages, the threats, their profile and username, and any payment details they sent. Save the link to their profile. You may want to delete everything, but this evidence helps the platform and the police.
4. Report the account to the platform. Use the report button on the app or site, and say that it is sextortion or blackmail. Platforms can remove accounts and content.
5. Block them once you have your evidence. Tighten your privacy settings so strangers can't see your friends list or contact you.
6. Tell someone you trust. You don't have to handle this alone.

Reporting it to the police

Sextortion is a crime. Extortion is illegal, and the Cybercrimes Act 19 of 2020 makes it a crime to share someone's intimate images without their consent. You can open a case at any police station. Take your screenshots and other evidence with you, on your phone or printed out.

When you open a case, you should get a case number. Keep it safe. Our guides on opening a case at a police station and reporting online harassment and cybercrime explain what to expect.

If you are under 18

The law treats sexual images of anyone under 18 as child sexual abuse material. Asking a child for these images, keeping them or sharing them is a serious crime. The person threatening you is committing that crime.

Telling a parent or trusted adult can feel impossible. You might be scared of getting into trouble or of letting them down. But adults who care about you would far rather help you than see you face this alone. If you can't talk to anyone at home, try a teacher, school counsellor, coach or relative, or call Childline on 116.

It is not your fault

People who do this are skilled at manipulation. They plan every step to pressure you and make you feel trapped. Being tricked does not make you stupid, and sending an image to someone you trusted does not make you responsible for their crime.

The threats are designed to make you panic and feel that your life is over. It is not. Even if something is shared, the people who care about you can help you through it, and platforms and police can act to get it taken down.

If the stress is getting too much, talk to someone today. A helpline, a friend or a counsellor can help you get through the next few days.

For parents and caregivers

If your son or a boy in your care tells you about sextortion, stay calm. Thank him for telling you, and make it clear he is not in trouble with you. Don't take his phone away or delete messages in anger, because the evidence matters. Help him follow the steps above, report it, and keep an eye on how he is coping in the days that follow. Our guide when a boy tells you he is being abused may also help.

Getting support

• Childline South Africa: 116 (for children and teens)
• SADAG Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0800 567 567 (free, 24/7)
• Lifeline South Africa: 0861 322 322 (24/7)
• SAPS emergency: 10111, or 112 from a cell phone

You can also make an anonymous report to Men for Change, and contact our support team if you would like help finding services. More helplines are on our resources page.