What to do after a sexual assault

If you have been raped or sexually assaulted, the first thing to know is this: it was not your fault. It does not matter who did it, whether you knew them, whether you had been drinking, or how your body reacted. You did not ask for this.

Men are often told this can't happen to them. It can, and it does. South African law recognises that men and boys can be raped, and you have the same right to care, protection and justice as anyone else.

Why the first 72 hours matter

Try to get medical care as soon as you can, ideally within 72 hours (three days). There are two reasons.

• To protect your health. Medicine called PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) can lower the chance of getting HIV. It must be started within 72 hours, and the sooner the better. You take it every day for 28 days. You may also be offered treatment to prevent other infections, and care for any injuries.
• To collect evidence. Evidence such as DNA is best collected as soon as possible. It becomes harder to find as time passes.

If more than 72 hours have passed, still go. You can still be examined, treated and supported, and you can still report.

Where to go

You can go to:

• a Thuthuzela Care Centre. These centres care for survivors of sexual violence, including men. They are usually based at public hospitals and bring medical care, support and help with reporting together in one place.
• a hospital or clinic. Tell the staff that you have been sexually assaulted and need to be seen urgently.
• a police station. The police should help you get to a place where you can receive medical care and have evidence collected.

You can get medical care, including PEP, even if you have not decided whether to open a case. Ask the staff whether evidence can be collected anyway, so that your options stay open. If you don't know where the nearest centre is, the GBV Command Centre can help you find one.

Protecting evidence

If you can, before you are examined:

• try not to wash, shower or brush your teeth;
• keep the clothes you were wearing in a paper bag, not a plastic one;
• tell the staff if you think you were drugged, because some tests need to be done quickly;
• save any messages, calls or social media contact with the person who did this.

If you have already washed or changed, that is completely understandable. Go anyway. Evidence may still be found, and your health comes first.

Reporting to the police

Opening a case is your choice. You can do it straight away or later. There is no time limit for reporting rape.

Under the Criminal Law (Sexual Offences and Related Matters) Amendment Act 32 of 2007, rape is any act of sexual penetration without consent. This includes penetration with a body part or an object, and it applies whatever the gender of the victim or of the person who did it. Other unwanted sexual acts are also crimes. If you were asleep, unconscious, or too drunk or drugged to know what was happening, you could not consent.

At the police station:

1. Ask for privacy. Many stations have a SAPS Victim-Friendly Room where you can give your statement away from the public counter.
2. Take someone with you. A trusted friend or family member can wait with you and support you.
3. Take your time. Ask for your statement to be read back to you before you sign it, and correct anything that is wrong.
4. Keep your details. Write down your case number and the name of the investigating officer.

Our guides on opening a case and your rights as a victim of crime explain more.

Shame, silence and your body

Many men feel deep shame after a sexual assault. You may worry about what people will think, or what it says about you. You may feel confused or angry with yourself if your body responded during the assault.

An erection or ejaculation is a physical reflex. It does not mean you wanted it or agreed to it. Being sexually assaulted says nothing about your sexuality and nothing about your strength as a man.

It is also common to freeze, to go along with it to get through it, or not to fight back. That is how many people's bodies react to danger. It does not mean you consented.

You may want to keep it to yourself. That is understandable, but carrying it alone is heavy. Telling one person you trust can make a real difference. Our guide on coping after trauma may help in the weeks ahead.

Myths and facts

Getting support

• In an emergency, call 10111, or 112 from a cell phone.
• The GBV Command Centre on 0800 428 428 is open 24 hours a day for people of all genders.
• If you feel overwhelmed, call Lifeline South Africa on 0861 322 322. If you are thinking about ending your life, call the SADAG Suicide Crisis Helpline on 0800 567 567.
• When you are ready, our guide to finding a counsellor can help you find ongoing support.
• You can report what happened anonymously at /report. It needs no name or account. Tick the support box if you would like someone to contact you.
• To reach the Men for Change support team, go to /contact?topic=support.
• More helplines are listed at /resources.